HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE…..

Birthday cake from my little sister!

On the evening of November 19th in 1973, I took my first breaths of life, in this world. Now, 46 years later, I can give God a great, big thank you, that I am still here! With the things I have been through, I could have lost my mind, BUT I’m holding on.  My morning was spent responding to messages and chattering on the phone. After a conversation with my Aunt, I was gifted some money, so my plans changed and improved immediately. Initially the thought was, that I would go for a little window-shopping and get my eyebrows neatened up. Now that I had received money, Wandsworth became my oyster. I was able to buy some kitchenware, watch a movie and grab a bite to eat. All by myself. I loved it! I thoroughly enjoyed that and felt blessed!

My Mum also visited my home, whilst I was out, but put a card (containing money) through the letterbox. Added to that, my sister came around yesterday with a little birthday cake (above) and she bought us a takeaway, we chatted and watched a couple of movies. Another gift is now pending and there are a few dates to follow. My future, for the rest of 2019, is looking bright! Christmas is close behind…

Reverting back to my birth, many years ago, I was born on a Monday. There is a nursery rhyme which begins ‘Monday’s child is fair of face…’. Apparently, those born on a Monday are very attractive, beautiful and are promised good things and a fortunate life. Well, I can accept that…..partly! After all, Margaret Wolfe Hungerford said, in her book ‘Molly Swan’, that ‘beauty is altogether in the eye of the beholder’. Well, I behold the reflection of myself and see that it is good! Researching, I came across a few quotes, which I felt expressed this perfectly.

Beauty is altogether in the eye of the beholder.

Margaret Wolfe Hungerford

We live in a world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.

Jawaharlal Nehru

People often say that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’, and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places that others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.

Salma Hayek

The beauty you see in me is a reflection of you.

Vanna Bonta

Beauty isn’t about looking perfect it’s about celebrating our individuality.

Bobbi Brown

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have a mentor.  In the beginning, she advised me to begin collating affirmations. On doing this, I was told to look in the mirror and affirm them every day. It sounds simple enough, right? Being a person who has/had an issue with ‘self’, it was extremely difficult, at first. As time went on, it did eventually become easier and easier. I noticed that, the times I found it hardest, was when I was having a problem with self-image. Now, I may sound confused, because I start by speaking confidently about beauty, but that’s how I am. I’m not suggesting that, mentally, in the space of time it took for me to get to this point of the blog that my mind had completely changed but I am not always feeling as confident on a day-to-day basis. What I can say, however, is that I am celebrating life, at this moment in time. Therefore, I will try to do as much as possible to remain in the same spirit. As always, I remain, Unapologetically Marcia

Below are some of my affirmations, that you may find useful.

  • I am beautiful
  • I am enough
  • I am exactly where I’m supposed to be
  • I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness
  • I am intelligent
  • I am made in His image!
  • I am proud of who I am
  • I am strong
  • I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness
  • I am intelligent
  • I am the woman God ordained me to be
  • I am what I think and today I think life, fruitful and positive thoughts
  • I am whole
  • I am worthy of being a work in progress and God does love me
  • I believe that nothing is impossible, if you only believe
  • I have the power to create change
  • I only desire that which is good for me
  • I radiate beauty, charm and grace
  • I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind
  • Everything that is happening now is for my ultimate good
  • God has given me this AMAZING, DYNAMIC POWER to do, be, have and create ALL that I desire
  • My fears of tomorrow are melting away
  • My life is just beginning!
  • Today I abandon my old negative habits and take up new, more positive ones
  • Today I am excited about life

After reading this, has it given you thoughts on making your own affirmations? Do you already have some? Would you like to share?

My First Blog Post

Great Oaks from Little Acorns Grow.

— Geoffrey Chaucer

When going on a journey there has to be a starting point. One may or may not even have an idea of where they will end up, but do know where they are. The point is whether they like where they are to begin with, or not. Some decide to make a change so that they will become better than they are (being in a bad place) or just to improve themselves (being in a good place). Overall there is just a yearning to be different; a yearn to not remain the same. I was on this train of thought when I came across the heading Great Oaks from Little Acorns Grow. Some may know it as mighty oaks and the words moved around, but you get the gist! I knew there was a need for change. I’m not saying I was or am in the worst place possible but knew that, mentally, I could not continue as I was. Your mental disposition can affect your health in so many ways. So, I thought, let me take control and attempt to steer things in a different direction. It may not totally heal me of my ailments but I’ll feel better for it and nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Whilst being a teenager I often dreamt of what adult life would be like. I wanted to have a husband, who loved me inexplicably, two children, my own home, the world as an oyster (that I’d taste frequently) and untold happiness. The reality is, I have been single for too many years (which I’m certain is caused by my low self-esteem), have one daughter; whom I love VERY much (she is my pride and joy), live in a rented home, and have only visited a handful of places. I am now almost 46 years old; where has the time flown! Before now I was unhappy about this, but now, I am content and see life as a glass half full rather than half empty. I’m waiting to see what is going to happen next rather than thinking, nothing ever happens to or for me. We can be our own worst enemies by dwelling on negative thoughts and, at times, can be so entwined in them that we become knotted within until it feels almost impossible to unravel ourselves and break free.

I used to watch a programme, you may know it, where a group of young women would take part in a search for the next best thing in the modelling field. They were vying for a position, in order to win a competition. Some would be crying at a certain point, saying they were not good enough. I’d always give a side eye and think, why the hell are you on the show then?! But we all have moments when we begin to doubt whether we can actually do something…when pushed we usually can. It’s all about our belief or lack of. The thing is to maintain our belief and ensure it never wanes, bringing us to a standstill. If you do come to a standstill you have to use it to your advantage and analyse why you have got to that position and where you go from there. You may grind to a halt or continue with thoughts rushing through your mind, either way it should not be seen as a bad thing. Also, I hasten to add, there is no time limit! Having said that there’s also the adage that time waits for no man. None of us know the exact moment our lives will end or what opportunities we will or will not come across, but we can guess. Be careful time is not wasted pondering or being angry, for you can turn around and be surprised at the age you’ve reached and the lack of an attempt at your hopes and dreams. If opportunities have been missed, move on to another, or search for one, as swiftly as possible.

Growing up I was never confident and there were direct reasons for that, (which I’ll go into at some point in the future). At school, I was around those who were (or appeared to be), but when I reached my teens I had to wear a back brace and eventually had an operation for scoliosis. I felt as though my world was caving in…I became a recluse and felt as though everyone was so much better than I was. It was at this point that I thought to myself, I can truly forget about all those dreams. Who would want someone with a ‘broken back’ (and the rest); I mean I didn’t like me, so how could anyone else! After this moment, life just happened to me. Feelings of not fitting in continued and I just attempted to do things that other people did or what was considered normal. Then, I became an acorn. For all those years I was within the oak tree; needing it to give birth to me. A friend of mine would always post inspiring quotes, on WhatsApp. I would read them and think, ‘I want to be on that wavelength’, so I sent her a message and asked her if she would consider being my mentor. She agreed. It was at this point that I became an acorn that had fallen away from the oak. No longer was I to be led by mental ill feeling or with an aim to please others, but by a need to be my own person. I needed to please ME. I became an acorn waiting to be planted. I have now become an acorn that has been planted in a good foundation and with regular watering with God’s word and the warmth of His Holy Spirit; I’ll be fine! I’ll be able to grow into a Great/Mighty Oak.

I am very happy to continue this journey with God as my buckler and shield and I give thanks for what I’ve been through, where I am now and where he intends to take me! It’s more than okay to be unapologetically me. Here are 3 of my favourite scriptures (there are many!).

…….to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

– Isaiah 61:3, New International Version

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

– Psalm 27:1, King James Version

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song.

– Psalm 28:7, New International Version

Below are some quotes I can relate to.

Growth is the Only Evidence of Life

– John Henry Oswald

Growth itself contains the germ of happiness.

– Pearl Buck

One does not become fully human painlessly

– Rollo May

The shell must break before the bird can fly

– Alfred, Lord Tennyson

The M Word

The last several years have been challenging; filled with numerous highs and lows, BUT I’ve decided to take the bull by the horns and turn things around. I need to push it to a constant high (or at least a majority!) No. Turning. Back.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Marcia…I’m going on a journey and would like to take you with me.

Welcome to the rest of my life!