I am undoing you in the overwhelming reality of my outrageous love for you. If you will let me wreck you with my love, it’s power will overcome you and demolish all that has constructed itself that was not of me. It will break up and destroy old foundations of lies and man-made structures and all the things you have built on wrong motives.
My love is coming with truth and power to knock through even the ceilings of limitations you have placed on you and even let intimidate you or squash you. Let me come and destroy all that hinders you and limits you. Let me show you all the idols you have leaned on or relied upon instead of me, watch as they topple down before you like mute stone statues.
Then wait in peace and hear my voice and see the new way, the new ground settling in your inner being, heart and spirit. Let me build upon you the new and the pioneering on the settled still ground from a pure love foundation. For I am Love. Love is me. There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out all fear. So you have been brought low to the ground but be built up again with my love, on my love, in my love.
Ask God to envelop you with the power of his love and let his love come and pour out the truth to you to show you and expose any areas in your life that have not been built on God’s love and foundation. Break agreement with any lies that have been built into the core of your being that have limited you or kept you hidden or made you feel unworthy. Ask God for forgiveness where you have turned to idols to bring comfort instead of him. Let God pour his love into the very beginning of you in the new now, to build on you and in you and through you with his love.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
2 “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son.
3 And he sent his servants to call those who had [previously] been invited to the wedding feast, but they refused to come.
4 Then he sent out some other servants, saying, ‘Tell those who have been invited, “Look, I have prepared my dinner; my oxen and fattened calves are butchered and everything is ready; come to the wedding feast.”’
5 But they paid no attention [they disregarded the invitation, treating it with contempt] and went away, one to his farm, another to his business.
6 The rest [of the invited guests] seized his servants and mistreated them [insulting and humiliating them] and killed them.
7 The king was enraged [when he heard this], and sent his soldiers and destroyed those murderers and burned their city.
8 Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding [feast] is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy.
9 So go to the main highways that lead out of the city, and invite to the wedding feast as many as you find.’
10 Those servants went out into the streets and gathered together all the people they could find, both bad and good; so the wedding hall was filled with dinner guests [sitting at the banquet table].
11 “But when the king came in to see the dinner guests, he saw a man there who was not dressed [appropriately] in wedding clothes,
12 and he said, ‘Friend, how did you come in here without wearing the wedding clothes [that were provided for you]?’ And the man was speechless and without excuse.
13 Then the king said to the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him into the darkness outside; in that place there will be weeping [over sorrow and pain] and grinding of teeth [over distress and anger].’
14 For many are called (invited, summoned), but few are chosen.”
I am preparing my bride to carry the light of my glory. I am weaving you together as a tightly knit people to be ones who can carry the weight of my glory without breaking and ones who share the weight and carry together. In order to carry the weight of my glory, the weight I am pouring out, you need to be closer, much closer.
Do not resist my joining and do not resist the closeness of relationship. I am breaking down division and barriers as I heal your heart so that you are able to allow my connection at a much deeper level. Do not be afraid to allow these deep connections. Do not fear for your hearts – allow me to be the one who protects you.
My love covers you. My love will protect you. It is my love that you need. My Spirit is the one who melds your hearts together. This is not something you can engineer. Surrender to the work of My Spirit within your hearts and let Him work to join you.
The glory that You have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and You in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that You sent me and loved them even as You loved me.
John 17:22-23 (ESV)
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ.
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the refuge and fortress of my life—Whom shall I dread?
2 When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell.
3 Though an army encamp against me, my heart will not fear; though war arise against me, even in this I am confident.
4 One thing I have asked of the Lord, and that I will seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord [in His presence] all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty [the delightful loveliness and majestic grandeur] of the Lord and to meditate in His temple.
5 For in the day of trouble He will hide me in His shelter; in the secret place of His tent He will hide me; He will lift me up on a rock.
6 And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me, in His tent I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.
7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud; be gracious and compassionate to me and answer me.
8 When You said, “Seek My face [in prayer, require My presence as your greatest need],” my heart said to You, “Your face, O Lord, I will seek [on the authority of Your word].”
9 Do not hide Your face from me, do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my help; do not abandon me nor leave me, O God of my salvation!
10 Although my father and my mother have abandoned me yet the Lord will take me up [adopt me as His child].
11 Teach me Your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies [who lie in wait].
12 Do not give me up to the will of my adversaries, for false witnesses have come against me; they breathe out violence.
13 I would have despaired had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
14 Wait for and confidently expect the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for and confidently expect the Lord.
You are a delight, not just to me, but to others in the body of Christ, your family, your job and in your area and nation. Do not doubt it! Where you have submitted your tongue to me, and your heart to love others, you have been Christ to them. My pleasure is over you. Where you have spoken beautiful soothing things into sore relationships, you have bestowed beauty and blessings to battered believers and your words have been seen and heard. Rejoice that you have made a difference. Believe me that you display my beauty. Thank you for choosing the voice and words when speaking with others that I long to speak to them. They see me through you.
‘Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.’
At the beginning of 2021 I wrote a piece on my thoughts of the previous year and the year which was to come, and it was late. The same is happening for this year round, but for different reasons. This year I was quite ill. I had a Sickle crisis and it was horrendous. It started on Christmas Day (in the evening), got progressively worse very quickly and ended approximately 10 days ago. In all my years, my crises have only been that long on a few of occasions. I am now 48 years old.
Leading up to the end of the year, I was able to bash out a few pieces for the blog and had in my mind a few ideas for what I would write about in 2022. It was my intention to vamp it up and do new things, more frequently, but since having the crisis I have been empty. When I say empty, it’s as though I didn’t know what to write about or even how to write. Ideas would come to mind, I’d witter away to myself, and as soon as I sat in front of my iPad, my mind would be blank. Literally blank! I couldn’t remember what I had been saying to myself and there would be nothing for me to try to say. Prayers said offline or that I would put on my blog before, now appeared to be impossible to do. Yesterday, however, as I wittered away to myself I did it with a hope that everything would be okay and it was. HalleluYah!
My day started early, as I had to go to the hospital because I thought I had gone almost completely deaf in my right ear. I actually wear hearing aids in both ears and the right is worse than the left. I had previously been told that it was moderate to severe but I hadn’t realised the gravity of the situation. I went in for an emergency appointment to see the Audiologist.
She checked both ears, everything was clean and not blocked, questions were asked, then I was sent for a hearing test. The tests were done; the last time I had one was at the beginning of last year and I was told that there was little change. On this occasion, the reason I couldn’t hear was because the setting on my hearing aid was incorrect. This was the moment of realisation of exactly how deaf I am. The left ear isn’t as bad as the right, but that is where most of my ability to hear is coming from. Thank God for His tender mercies! Another appointment has been made for me to have the hearing aids retuned. If that doesn’t work then they will be upgraded.
I have been wearing hearing aids for several years now. Years ago, I went to sleep and woke up unable to hear in my right ear. Complete silence! Gradually, over several months, I began to hear: slightly! Even my GP thought I either had a cold in my ear OR there was water in it! It took a long time to be diagnosed but I was eventually told my Sickle Cell was the cause; something about a blood clot around the nerves (or something similar). The night before the hearing loss, I went to a family get-together and was sitting right beside the music box, so it was suggested by some, that was the cause. Who knows! I queried it with the medics and they have said that may have had something to do with it, but they really doubt it was the whole reason. I’m leaning on what they have said because I know how I was feeling at the time. As I sat near to the speakers I was feeling locked in (will explain that at some point in the future!). I didn’t understand what was happening, but a change was occurring. With regards to my ears, I’ve had to cope for such a long time, being unable to hear properly. The hearing in the left began to deteriorate gradually, over time. It must have been overworked. I was also diagnosed with epilepsy, so I know strange things were happening in my head, that I didn’t really understand. There were parts of my brain that were not doing what they were supposed to and I still have the problems now, but not as much as I used to.
At first I would pretend to hear; stuck in meetings being unable to hear properly and then for some reason my brain couldn’t understand the information it was receiving. They were just words! Words which seemed to be in another language, that I couldn’t comprehend. However, rather than trying to seek help, I would tell myself that I was ‘just stupid’, ‘…can’t understand simple things’… and wonder…’what’s wrong with me?!’ It was only a few years ago that I started to become open about the fact that I couldn’t hear. I would let people know that I hadn’t heard them or couldn’t. I began to wear the hearing aids more often. Friends were really shocked to see me wearing them. I began to accept it and was able to apportion the blame on being partially deaf, as I wasn’t the only person in the world in that situation.
During the lockdown I had begun to meet up (online) with the Sickle Cell Group for South London. It is so refreshing to meet with people that have the same issues as you. After growing up with being totally reliant on prayers when feeling unwell, being aware of what problems can occur provided clarity. It was via this group that I was able to discover that sometimes people with Sickle Cell have cognitive issues. This is something I will need to look into further. Now I’m not saying that Almighty God shouldn’t be included in such matters, because He should. It is Him providing the strength I have to keep going. After all, it is Him that has provided man with the intelligence to understand the deeper things of this life and beyond.
In my time I have spoken to people who are of the view that Sickle Cell Disease shouldn’t be acknowledged, but how can one pray against it if you don’t call it out as, and for what, it is? My blood has been tested, it is repeatedly tested every time I go for my reviews, it shows up that I have Sickle Cell Disease and I definitely, no qualms about it, feel that I have Sickle Cell Disease. The excruciating pain is not a figment of my imagination. You cannot pray effectively against something if you do not recognise it for what it is. To do other than that, you are in denial!
A Church service I watched on Sunday (link below) was entitled Forever Grateful. I so needed to hear the words, as I found that I was being enveloped in my own thoughts and the problems I face, rather than focus on what I need to be grateful for. I was focused on only negative things; doubt, fear, lack, loneliness. It was by receiving God’s Word on Sunday, that I was able to face yesterday, without feeling as though my world was falling apart. I awoke, being grateful. I boarded the bus, it took me to a stop and advised me that it was being held where it was, I then alighted and took the tube (which I had forgotten could take me where I wanted to go in minutes!): I avoided the traffic from the morning rush hour! All the time I gave thanks. I arrived at the hospital in time, was tested then was given the good news. I say good news because even though I had come to the realisation that my hearing was so bad (moderate to severe), it could have been a range of reasons why my hearing had changed. Obviously it hadn’t changed but I have to be grateful for that fact.
Whenever I post anything I like to post things that are encouraging. I suppose they are words I like to hear; encouragement, enlightenment and truth. 1 Thessalonians 5:10 tells us to encourage and comfort one another.
Therefore encourage and comfort one another and build up one another, just as you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (AMP)
Even the tags I place within my pieces will only be positive words. It is not my aim to focus on the bad, unless I am forced to, as I try not to put negativity into my mind. The Lord knows that over the last couple of years it has been hard! However, we have to try. There are times where I allow myself to think negatively, because I want to feel pain; emotional self-harm. Bishop James Nanjo said we should stay focused on our own lives and The Lord. But what if the picture we see when we focus on our lives is not pleasing? Not what we want it to be? Then we change our focus to all the things we know, ordinarily, we should be grateful for. It is through gratitude that we grow. Not many people want to be stagnant. In fact being stagnant usually leads to mental or spiritual pain and on some occasions, even physical pain.
But as for us, we will bless and affectionately and gratefully praise the Lord from this time forth and forever. Praise the Lord! (Hallelujah!)
Psalm 115:18 (AMP)
Let your eyes look directly ahead [toward the path of moral courage] And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you [toward the path of integrity].
Proverbs 4:25 (AMP)
For he will not often consider the [troubled] days of his life, because God keeps him occupied and focused on the joy of his heart [and the tranquility of God indwells him].
Ecclesiastes 5:20 (AMP)
“You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You—in both inclination and character], Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation].
Isaiah 26:3 (AMP)
The eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is clear [spiritually perceptive, focused on God], your whole body also is full of light [benefiting from God’s precepts]. But when it is bad [spiritually blind], your body also is full of darkness [devoid of God’s word].
Luke 11:34 (AMP)
but just as it is written [in Scripture], “Things which the eye has not seen and the ear has not heard, And which have not entered the heart of man, All that God has prepared for those who love Him [who hold Him in affectionate reverence, who obey Him, and who gratefully recognize the benefits that He has bestowed].”
1 Corinthians 2:9 (AMP)
who died [willingly] for us, so that whether we are awake (alive) or asleep (dead) [at Christ’s appearing], we will live together with Him [sharing eternal life].
1 Thessalonians 5:10 (AMP)
The last scripture is our goal! This piece may seem a mish mash of thoughts, but it is all linked to being grateful. I have begun a journal called The Weekly Gratitude Project. Amazingly I had bought it in December, suggested by a friend, but I just started it on Saturday! Then the live service I watched on Sunday was Forever Grateful! (I must attend physically rather than virtually, in the very near future!) There was good news at the hospital yesterday. I don’t believe in coincidences. Whenever you give thanks, God will fill the gaps, place you under His shelter, lead the way and so much more. This is where I am psychologically. My next step is to remain focused on a book that I have never read. I have so many books laying around, that had been bought many years ago: some haven’t been opened; some, only the first few pages have been viewed; but too many have not been read in their entirety. So, the one thing I have decided to do, is read them and then document it on my blog. The one I have started is Mindset by Dr Carol S. Dweck. I had actually thought it was my daughters book, which she had used at University, but it wasn’t. At some point I had thought to myself it would be a good book to read, and purchased it. I’m not stupid after all! The front page reads Mindset – How You Can Fulfil Your Potential – Business, Parenting, School, Relationships. I am excited! I intend to read and document my thoughts on it. I hope you will hop onto this journey with me and read my posts to follow.
Here’s to a change of my mindset. Here’s to a new grateful me. Here’s to a Growth Mindset. Here’s to 2022 and whatever it brings as, by the grace of Almighty God, I will be ready!