What quality do you value most in a friend?
Receiving the above this morning, I tried to get my head around the line that reads “What you see in others – exists in you’. This is especially as I’ve heard it said time and time again that what you dislike in another is what you dislike in yourself.
What I admire in others, is when I see trustworthiness, honesty, compassion, a listening ear, joy, strength, weakness and love. That is the bear minimum, and from that flows many other things within each characteristic or trait.
- Trustworthiness – there should be a relaxed flow of the sharing of information with the knowledge that what is said will not be shared with all and sundry! They should also be trustworthy in the sense that you can be sure any information or view, given by them, can be trusted.
- Honesty – at times we just need a listening ear! However, if we do need opinions and advice, it should be given in all honesty and with love; taking into account how it will be received. The relationship should be one where there is no fear of being belittled or judged.
- Joy – lots of happiness and laughter (at the right time!) I know of some who take great joy in the misfortune of others!
- Strength and Weakness – at times where I am weak they can be strong and vice versa. Within that we should be able to give each other good advice or opinions, on a variety of things. It doesn’t have to be of an emotional aspect either, but in discussions on politics, state of the world, religion etc. We should also be able to agree to disagree!
- Love – everything that is said and done should be with love. It is because of love that I will be trustworthy. All honest opinions and/or advice, should be because of love; not because of wanting to be right but because of love
By no means am I saying I possess an overflow of these traits; now and then my levels can go up and down! However, more often than not, friends should be able to provide each other with positivity, support, connection and interaction.
That which I don’t like is a character of being overly judgemental, having unsightly anger, being brash and hatefulness. That is hate because of a person’s race, status, ability or sex. To think that it could be because they are characteristics I have within, is not understood. In my opinion this is not a statement that can be used across the board.
It’s so important to choose friends wisely. Your choices should be that those you converse and spend time with, are ones you can learn from, grow with, be pulled to another level and can do the same in return. As a group of friends you should all be teachable and the possibility existing for you to rub off on each other, in some shape or form. You should be able to reciprocate and pull another to where you are. The key thing is to know yourself and allow yourself to grow. If you are not strong enough, then be wise enough to keep those with unsuitable characteristics at arms length. We all have friendships that are put into different pockets; what you would tell or do with one you may not tell or do with another.
With regards to everything else said on the image, it’s true that whatever you give out is usually the same that will come back to you. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone were to take into account things on relationships, taught by the Manual for Life (Holy Bible), treated their fellowman with love, and took the below Bible passage into account when going out each day.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.
Philippians 4:8 (NIV)
OR
Finally, [a]believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s Word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].
Philippians 4:8 (AMP)
Footnotes
[a] Philippians 4:8 Lit brethren.
The below song, What a Wonderful World, came to mind. It was first recorded by Louis Armstrong, in 1967. It was written by Bob Thiele (under the pseudonym George Douglas) and George David Weiss. The lyrics speak of (in my view) an idealistic/perfect world, which could be achieved. Taking both the above Scripture and below lyrics into account, it all feels so easy. Love should be at the core of everything.
I see trees of green
Red roses too
I see them bloom
For me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
I see skies of blue
And clouds of white
The bright blessed day
The dark sacred night
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
The colors of the rainbow
So pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces
Of people going by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, “How do you do?”
They’re really saying
I love you
I hear babies cry
I watch them grow
They’ll learn much more
Than I’ll ever know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Ooh, yes
Try to be the reflection of who and what you want to be. What do you want your world to be like. If we want to see a change in the world, more love in this world, then we have to be that change we want to see.
Self-reflect on what you feel, think and your habits. Sometimes you can become lost in the busyness of life. As a friend we should be able to be a mirror, show or remind our friends of their past accomplishments. The company you keep is also a reflection of who you are. There is a saying that if you lay with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas.
Our friends are often a reflection of ourselves.
Unapologetically Marcia 