Great Oaks from Little Acorns Grow.— Geoffrey Chaucer
When going on a journey there has to be a starting point. One may or may not even have an idea of where they will end up, but do know where they are. The point is whether they like where they are to begin with, or not. Some decide to make a change so that they will become better than they are (being in a bad place) or just to improve themselves (being in a good place). Overall there is just a yearning to be different; a yearn to not remain the same. I was on this train of thought when I came across the heading Great Oaks from Little Acorns Grow. Some may know it as mighty oaks and the words moved around, but you get the gist! I knew there was a need for change. I’m not saying I was or am in the worst place possible but knew that, mentally, I could not continue as I was. Your mental disposition can affect your health in so many ways. So, I thought, let me take control and attempt to steer things in a different direction. It may not totally heal me of my ailments but I’ll feel better for it and nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Whilst being a teenager I often dreamt of what adult life would be like. I wanted to have a husband, who loved me inexplicably, two children, my own home, the world as an oyster (that I’d taste frequently) and untold happiness. The reality is, I have been single for too many years (which I’m certain is caused by my low self-esteem), have one daughter; whom I love VERY much (she is my pride and joy), live in a rented home, and have only visited a handful of places. I am now almost 46 years old; where has the time flown! Before now I was unhappy about this, but now, I am content and see life as a glass half full rather than half empty. I’m waiting to see what is going to happen next rather than thinking, nothing ever happens to or for me. We can be our own worst enemies by dwelling on negative thoughts and, at times, can be so entwined in them that we become knotted within until it feels almost impossible to unravel ourselves and break free.
I used to watch a programme, you may know it, where a group of young women would take part in a search for the next best thing in the modelling field. They were vying for a position, in order to win a competition. Some would be crying at a certain point, saying they were not good enough. I’d always give a side eye and think, why the hell are you on the show then?! But we all have moments when we begin to doubt whether we can actually do something…when pushed we usually can. It’s all about our belief or lack of. The thing is to maintain our belief and ensure it never wanes, bringing us to a standstill. If you do come to a standstill you have to use it to your advantage and analyse why you have got to that position and where you go from there. You may grind to a halt or continue with thoughts rushing through your mind, either way it should not be seen as a bad thing. Also, I hasten to add, there is no time limit! Having said that there’s also the adage that time waits for no man. None of us know the exact moment our lives will end or what opportunities we will or will not come across, but we can guess. Be careful time is not wasted pondering or being angry, for you can turn around and be surprised at the age you’ve reached and the lack of an attempt at your hopes and dreams. If opportunities have been missed, move on to another, or search for one, as swiftly as possible.
Growing up I was never confident and there were direct reasons for that, (which I’ll go into at some point in the future). At school, I was around those who were (or appeared to be), but when I reached my teens I had to wear a back brace and eventually had an operation for scoliosis. I felt as though my world was caving in…I became a recluse and felt as though everyone was so much better than I was. It was at this point that I thought to myself, I can truly forget about all those dreams. Who would want someone with a ‘broken back’ (and the rest); I mean I didn’t like me, so how could anyone else! After this moment, life just happened to me. Feelings of not fitting in continued and I just attempted to do things that other people did or what was considered normal. Then, I became an acorn. For all those years I was within the oak tree; needing it to give birth to me. A friend of mine would always post inspiring quotes, on WhatsApp. I would read them and think, ‘I want to be on that wavelength’, so I sent her a message and asked her if she would consider being my mentor. She agreed. It was at this point that I became an acorn that had fallen away from the oak. No longer was I to be led by mental ill feeling or with an aim to please others, but by a need to be my own person. I needed to please ME. I became an acorn waiting to be planted. I have now become an acorn that has been planted in a good foundation and with regular watering with God’s word and the warmth of His Holy Spirit; I’ll be fine! I’ll be able to grow into a Great/Mighty Oak.
I am very happy to continue this journey with God as my buckler and shield and I give thanks for what I’ve been through, where I am now and where he intends to take me! It’s more than okay to be unapologetically me. Here are 3 of my favourite scriptures (there are many!).
…….to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.– Isaiah 61:3, New International Version
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?– Psalm 27:1, King James Version
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song.– Psalm 28:7, New International Version
Below are some quotes I can relate to.
Growth is the Only Evidence of Life– John Henry Oswald
Growth itself contains the germ of happiness.– Pearl Buck
One does not become fully human painlessly– Rollo May
The shell must break before the bird can fly– Alfred, Lord Tennyson