Abba Father, I approach Your throne of grace with thanksgiving in my heart, as I prepare to take on what the world has in store for me today. I thank You that You have chosen me and taken me out of the arms of the enemy and that everything about me is all about You. LORD I come to you transformed and renewed. It is not by anything of self but entirely You and I want to thank, worship and adore Your mighty Name. Teach me Heavenly Father to understand that the only reason I love You is because You loved me first. You are my everything. You are the First and Last, the Beginning and the End and the Prince of Peace. You are the same yesterday, today and forever. By being bruised, You provided my healing. By being pierced, You eased my pain! By being prosecuted, You gave me freedom! By your death, You gave me life! By Your resurrection, I see Your power!
I ask that a new heart is created within me, so that I can live in Your will and Your way. Help me not to look back on what I have left behind but to just remain steadfast.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made, You knew me before I was conceived and made everything the way it is supposed to be.
You have begun a good work in me and because of who You are, Faithful and Just, You will follow it through until completion…You will not leave me undone.
You are the Good Shepherd who has called me to this very spot and have brought me through everything I have been through, right at this moment in time and I am no longer blind. Heavenly Father I now see and realise the exact moments that you waited for me to turn towards You and I did not.
I will never fear because You will give me the strength I need to do all things
There will no longer be any lack in my life.
Wherever You lead me I will follow, because I know I can depend on You to lead me in all the right paths.
Psalm 23:3/John 10:4
You are not a man that You should lie and I am thankful that I heard Your voice and was drawn to You, The Gate.
Numbers 23:19/John 10:7
Your word says that You are the Bread of Life, so I know that I will never hunger nor thirst;
Your grace is sufficient for me;
1 Corinthians 12:9
You are the True Vine, that I will cleave to and I will bear much fruit and be an extension of You;
You are the Light of the World, so I will never walk in darkness, I’ll neither stumble nor fall, because you are my protector who never sleeps and You give me the light of life;
My heart’s cry is that I will know You and the power of Your resurrection. It is because of Your resurrection that I have been saved from my sin.
Focus my mind, so that I will remember that You are always with me.
Help me to follow Your example, to go deep into Your Word and always think of what it is that You require of me.
For Your Word tells me that You will never leave nor forsake me. You’ve got my back. You’re better than any friend.
Promise of God – John 14:13 – And I will do whatever you ask in my Name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my Name, and I will do it.
Abba Father, I pray all these things in the Mighty Name of Your Son Yeshua, who came and died on Calvary’s cross and rose on the third day that we might have life and have it more abundantly.
Being someone that has experienced depression and on occasion suicidal thoughts, for the majority of my life, it rears its ugly head every now and then. If you suffer from depression, everytime someone seems to have ‘escaped’ this life and gone on, it’s possible to feel a little jealous. I say escaped but we don’t know what happens ‘on the other side’. That has been put in quotes but, being a Christian, I know what happens. Not everyone believes the same! Back to the topic at hand, I’ve had conversations with friends and family but not many understand or can relate. It’s more than feeling down but a feeling of desperation; not being able to breathe; not feeling understood; and a pain that cannot be explained. It’s not as clear, cut and dry as not having as many problems as anyone else, but it’s an issue of not being able to snap out of it and not seeing any reason to. In fact, at times, the feeling is that you don’t want to! Sometimes you have such a high, and you have a multitude of problems surrounding you, but everything feels okay. Other times you can reflect back on times past, or for no apparent reason at all, not even the multitudes I spoke of previously are the problem BUT… you just feel so desperately low. It’s a pain that cannot be explained. There seems to be a tightening of the chest, as though you can hardly breathe, and you don’t know how it can be softened and the tension released. No doubt, everyone’s experience is different, but that is mine. It’s not something that you can just snap out of, but you know you need a release. This is one of my reasons for starting a blog. As I type this I feel a release; I feel I can breathe. The thing with me is that I can hide things pretty well. When I feel depressed I don’t really want to explain because I don’t want to hear the words that I ‘have nothing to be sad about’. Unless a person walks in your shoes, has your body or your brain, they don’t know….BUT God! He’s always my help when I need Him! I just need to remain focused, because we are about to embark on times where He will be needed so much more.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
Psalm 46:1-3 (New International Version)
I began writing this a couple of months ago, after Caroline Flack took her own life, but this morning decided to take it up again. Only a few weeks later and people are falling ill, dying when they don’t want to. It was so different when it was across the waters, but now it is here, right where we are. It makes you have a different perspective on life. Those that are infected with, or have died of Coronavirus, have not had a say in whether or not their lives were affected or ending. The effects of this have transcended beyond the individuals laying in the hospital beds, being quarantined, or those staying at home because they are vulnerable, but extends to nurses who look after them in hospitals; members from different departments who have been relocated to each ground zero to assist with admin or do nursing jobs they haven’t done for years (all vying for adequate PPE, I hasten to add); families unable to visit loved ones; fathers unable to visit their newborn babies; and the families stuck at home who, under normal circumstances, would visit their family, friend or neighbour and keep them company for a few hours, especially during the lovely weather we’re having now. We are resigned to realising what we DO have control over or access to. If we are at home with loved ones, we are able to reconnect because, unless you are a Key Worker, there is no job to rush to. We can pick up the phone, because we have the time to call others and ask how people (that we haven’t spoken to for a long time) are doing. We can read (whether it be that book that has been sitting on the shelf since last year) or connect with our Father in the Holy Bible. This moment can be used as a time of reflection. Where we have come from. Where we are. Where we are going to.
In a past post, I had said after the New Year, the divorce rate can be at its highest. Right now couples are being pushed together for much more than a long weekend! Alas, there are fears for those who are in situations where domestic violence is taking place. I pray our Almighty Omnipresent God will be felt, and in control of, every household!
Provisions are available for all.
Council Tax relief for those liable for an excess of £150;
Frontline charities to receive £750 million to keep them ticking over;
Government is able to pay salaries up to £2,500;
NHS debt of over £13.4 billion to be written off;
Banks and companies are permitting repayment holidays for credit cards and loans;
Mortgage breaks for a period of 3 months;
Nightingale hospital has been built and a number of additional ones on the way; and
Shelter for the homeless; a concerted effort is being made to get the homeless off the streets. Quickly!
After providing all this and more, assistance extends to the self-employed, zero contract employees, freelancers and contractors. It leaves me wondering how monies are so readily available, all be it for a couple of months, and why some of these things weren’t on offer before. Being a vulnerable person, I receive food on a weekly basis, which allows me to eat. For 12 weeks all who are vulnerable need to stay inside, because our ability to fight Coronavirus and win, is low. I’m extremely grateful 🙏🏾
What we see is that this virus is no respecter of person, as in you could be rich or poor, of colour or white, young or old. Not many young have died of it BUT EVERY SINGLE DEATH STANDS IN ITS OWN RIGHT. One thing we, as the human race/society, need to do is recognise what divides us. I do believe that is now being realised. It’s amazing what times of adversity can do! Debates are being held, and as mentioned before, the Government appears to be pulling out all stops to assist in every way possible. The effects of this will be felt for a very long time, and life will never be the same again. The big question is will it be for the better or not. Thoughts of a pending global recession spring to mind and the world will be in mourning. ‘We all stand together’, looking after our own and feeling and knowing what others are dealing with. The divide between the haves and have-nots needs to be lessened, so that at least basic needs are met for all.
A song came to mind:
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus Christ, my Righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name
On Christ the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand
When your hope is built on The Most High, you need never fear. He is the only one that can really keep you going.
There are different explanations for what is globally occurring at the moment. In the not too distant future, I will go through them and leave you to reach your own verdict.
I received the above diary, from my daughter for Christmas and found it very apt for this new year. The title, just in case the print is too small, is HAPPINESS IS NOT OUT THERE, IT’S IN YOU, 2020. Never a truer word has been said (well, in the moment, that I’d received it, anyway!) Well, we have almost completed the first two months of the New Year and it only seems like yesterday that it was Christmas, or even that we were counting in 2020! However, in the blink of an eye, here we are!
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry, God never blinks.
At the close of last year, to the beginning of this one, I took part in a 21 Days of Abundance Meditation by Deepak Chopra. This was led by my ex-mentor. Several of us took part and I then ran one myself. We had to ‘reach into our own abundance and share with others‘ i.e it was a task requirement! I was extremely glad that I did it. It was the first time that I had ever done anything like it, and was truly blessed. It allowed me to think of things differently and motivated me to tackle life in a different way; I was inspired to live abundantly! My views on life have changed. I, also, now realise that abundance is not only a financial thing but can be anything you want it to be. You can have an abundance of health, joy, love, peace and/or strength and they are all just as important as finance. Viewing it from a Christianity point of view, we are dealing with the whole man. These are attributes that can be strengtheners of the mind, body and soul. This is excellent considering the disasters that continue to happen not only around the world but also right here in the South of London. A few weeks ago there was a terrorist attack. It’s quite different when things that usually occur far away, suddenly happen at a place only a bus ride away from where you live. In the blink of an eye lives were changed. Shop owners, people enjoying lunch; watching a movie at the cinema, running to the store, people who avoided coming face-to-face with such an atrocity by inadvertently changing plans and those who were actually injured. Many lives were changed that day, even the lives of the attacker’s family…when will it all end? Since then, there have been more deaths, more births, more marriages and more suicides; it all just continues, life just goes on. I’ve always felt as though I’ve carried the weight of the world on my shoulders but, there comes a time when you have to put it all down and hand it over to The Most High God and let Him do His thing! The sooner you are able to do that, the better!
So, on a lighter note, back to the meditation! We challenged ourselves with daily tasks, for a 21 day period, which allowed us to review and analyse our thought patterns and reasons for the results we came to. Not only did we do this but, we also had to come to terms and be at peace with all decisions made. Sounds easy enough, I hear you cry! Well, not really. It all depends on how seriously you were taking the meditation and what you wanted to get from it. (Unless you are perfect and already at ease with every aspect of your life, that is!). As I mentioned before, I led one. I would have never thought of doing it, if it wasn’t a task. I was utilising leadership skills, that haven’t been used in a looong time.
Some of the things covered were as follows:-
Recording 50 persons that had added value to our lives;
Those within our family and social circles that have achieved their goals;
Reaching into our own abundance and sharing with others;
Revealing our financial debts and expenses;
Realising how much we would need to be comfortable;
Creating a new relationship with money;
Realising negative thought patterns and the results of them;
Connecting with our parents and realising what made them who they are;
Realising shared characteristics;
Self-recognition (warts ‘n all!);
How to heal those warts; and amongst other things
Realising you can love and are deserving of love.
We were sent the tasks very early each morning and it included a recording of Deepak Chopra’s calming, dulcet tones, which relaxed us and prepared the way for the mantra. I had never done this before and to be breathing, relaxing and breathing some more, whilst repeating words of another language (to stop my mind from straying), was quite daunting. However, Deepak Chopra would, at times, give a translation of the mantras. Whenever the words were not given I would look them up, so I could be aware of what I was saying. We were also given an inspirational quote to recite throughout the day. For anyone who doesn’t know, a mantra is an affirmation or quote, which inspires you. The key is for it to inspire and/or motivate you to think and live your best life. Isn’t that great?! This can be an inspirational phrase (I am who God says I am) or even a scripture (Psalm 139:14 I am fearfully and wonderfully made!) If you’re reading this and you’re not a Christian, you can put in any positive phrase.
For my next few posts I will go into the above, and the other areas not listed, in greater depth. Personally, throughout the meditation, I carried out the tasks evaluating everything in my life: realising where I was, why I am, where I am and where I am going to. This was an amazing thing to do. We can go through life, thinking and doing things but not realising why we do them. Sometimes we can actually blame others for the way we are, but the important thing is the REALISATION and ACCEPTANCE. If we realise why things, you, or a person, are the way they are, we are one step towards making a change. We can, therefore, accept how we go forward from there. As I always say, don’t allow events to be the precursor of how your life ends up, if it is in a negative way. In every situation you should be able to turn yourself around in the opposite direction. Make peace with it, them and/or yourself. Think of the worse case scenario and then make a concerted effort to not go down that route.
In closing, what New Year’s Resolutions have you made? Have you broken any yet? Have you approached this year with a zeal because you are expecting bigger and better each day, week or month? I hope it’s the latter question, but if it’s not…it’s never too late! I previously referred to my mentor as ex-mentor because she feels that I am ready to go it alone. Yikes! She’s an educated lady, so I’ll take her word for it…..
The header reads 2020 Vision – New Year, New You. That’s exactly what I’ll be working towards in 2020, mentally, all by myself! 2020 (or 20/20) is also considered to be normal vision, as well as being the current year, we are in. However, it is possible to have variants to it. For the purpose of this Blog post, it is normal. The aim of this year is to have ‘perfect’ or ‘normal’ vision; for it not to be skewed. The key is to keep pressing on, no matter what.
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize for the high calling of God in Jesus Christ.
‘Twas the season to be jolly, trah la lala laa la la la laaa!’
I had started to write this before Christmas Day, but didn’t get around to sending it out! Thankfully there are 12 days of Christmas, so I’ve adjusted slightly and placed it into the present tense. After all, why waste a good picture of my bauble!:) Peace, love and shoes; absolutely gooorgeous!
The decorations have been up for awhile now and will soon need to come down and be packed away for another 352 days. Christmas Day has come and gone and we’ve begun to deal with the aftermath; leftover turkey and Christmas treats have been depleted; checking bank balances and counting the days until the next payday have started; being aghast at the usual increase of travel costs; those who work, are dreading returning; new relationships have started; old relationships have been rekindled; and divorces are even being thought about or sought! Statistics show that there is an increase in filing for divorces, around the New Year. It is seen as a time for a New Beginning. The first Monday back to work after New Year is known as “Divorce Day”. Families are thrown together at this time of year, so stresses and strains intensify, and usually heightens any tension present. A marriage (long term relationships/civil partnerships) can be hard to sustain. Two people coming together need to think as one. This applies at any age and when the marriage has been for any length of time. Some never get used to it and give up the fight. Others get bored. The key thing is love should be unselfish. The Bible says we love because He first loved us. Obviously, the love we have with a ‘significant other’ isn’t 100% equivalent to the love we have of (or with) the LORD, but within the relationship we should always be able to think to ourselves; ‘Would God be happy with the way I’m treating them?’ ‘Am I thinking rationally?’ ‘How would I feel if someone were to say the same thing to me?‘ Respect should be shown. The long and short of respect is basically treating someone the way you wish to be treated.
Opportunities in 2020
Each year, time seems to pass so quickly. I read the other day that a supermarket had already started to sell Easter confectionery. Easter is in April! Do not allow this year to go by before even thinking about what can be done to improve your life. January 1st is as good a time as any, to review life. Looking back, where have the last 365 days taken you or brought you to? Looking forward, through the 363 days ahead, where do you see life taking you? We should aim to always evolve. Some say they do not make resolutions because they never adhere to them or they can self-improve any time of year. This is true. However, why not set one resolution that will cover everything within or about your life. The angle that you look at or do things. You may already have a full and fulfilling life, but see if you can look at things from a different perspective. You may have an empty life, so do something that can give it a boost. Search for opportunities (they are out there), rather than wait for them to land in your lap. Search in every conversation you have, programme you see, newspaper, book or magazine you read. You may not realise it but, when you open yourself to receive your calling, when it’s your time, you will see it present itself to you. Repeatedly.
I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me and what answer I am to give to this complaint.
The LORD’S Answer
Then the LORD replied: “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time, it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay “
Habakkuk 2: 1-3 (New International Version/Old Testament/Holy Bible)
My mentor sent me a table for listing plans for the year ahead. It is such a good idea to have things written down and made plain (as per scripture above). Sometimes we can start off with the best intentions but they then fall to the wayside.
The aforementioned table has sections to review the past and then look forward. Whilst reviewing the past it allows you to be aware of what thing(s) you wish to take into the current year. Acknowledging the bad, as well as the good, makes it possible for you to say goodbye to whatever you need to. If there is anything you don’t want to follow you through this year, say farewell as soon as possible. It’s no good having it weigh you down and wasting time that you could have focused on something else. Among other things, the table has spaces for recording forgivenesses, letting go, accomplishments and challenges. It is very detailed. Write it down and make it plain……. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. It will be brought into fruition.
As you venture into 2020 and begin to see things come to pass, may you go with peace, exude love, step out in a good pair of (new) shoes and shine like the star you are. Be the person that you would love to meet!
With my header reading ‘It’sALLAboutMe‘, some may feel that I’m self-indulged, wrapped up in myself and selfish. On reading this, I’ve even felt that way about myself, but it couldn’t be further from the truth! In the past I’ve always been one to try and push the attention away, if it was on me. The aim was to make the focus into a joke or struggle to be boisterous if it weren’t possible to throw the ball on. Anyone reading this, who knows me personally, may think to themselves ‘Errrrrrrmmm, what the hell is she on about! (side-eye glance)’, but that is how I would feel. I didn’t feel that my actions were me being me. It was forced. The only time I didn’t mind was when I was speaking to the Church, administering The Word, because then it was ALL About Him! Preposterously, I even thought I wasn’t worthy of God’s love and attention, but that is all changing! Today, I thank God for His undying grace, love, attention and everything else, that I have now realised.
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him
1 John 3:1 (New International Version)
Now, I have been a Christian for many years, but still didn’t understand the meaning of His undying grace and love. It is by the help of my mentor, sent by God, that I have come to the realisation. It’s funny how we met, because I used to date her brother. When our relationship had ended, we remained friends and I began attending the Church where his mother was the Pastor. (Surprisingly, I had no idea she was a Pastor, whilst we were dating!) I was baptised, became a member of the Praise and Worship Team, created and became the editor of the church newsletter (Divine Inspiration) and my mentor wasn’t yet baptised. Fast forward many years later, it is amazing to see her zeal and commitment to life and The LORD. I’m not saying that she didn’t have a belief before but I am sure she will agree that her relationship with Him wasn’t as it is now. She has set me tasks for (spiritual) growth, by what she has and hasn’t said, and how she lives her life. She is a fine example of how to make the most out of every second, minute and day. I am far off that stage, but in time will get there! That should be a lesson to us all, that when we think noone is watching, firstly The LORD sees all and then so do those around you. If they’re not seeing it, someone else just might tell them!
I mentioned in previous posts, a bit about my past. For a long time I’ve been deliberating about whether or not I should make it known and thought to myself, why not? The things that had happened to me, and made me as I am, made me ashamed. I should have no shame but those who have done me wrong should. NOT the other way around. Many that read this will not realise these things have happened, but I am going through a healing process. To heal I need to acknowledge events, allow myself to breathe in and then let it go. I’ll say it again (paraphrased), I don’t feel there is any need for me to feel shame because I wasn’t the one in the wrong. If ever the persons that did me wrong come across this or anyone that is guilty of doing this to others, my hope is that they feel shame and ask The LORD for forgiveness. If anyone reading this, or any of my other posts, can relate: I pray that they may be inspired to also heal, to seek help or to think of things differently and consider taking a step in the opposite direction to where they are now.
I am in the process of writing a book. This will allow me to fully rip the plaster off without caring about the pain. Right now I am inhibited, but it will be so freeing to do it without having to wonder what people I know are thinking. It is my right.
Abuse – (Emotional/Verbal)/Mental, Physical and Sexual
This can arise in many forms. In some cases the abuser may not be aware they are doing it but, nonetheless, it is what it is. On occasion the abuser knows exactly what they are doing and revel in the fact. Without going into too fine a detail, all of the above occurred to me, and has shaped me into the person I am today. Any form of abuse affects every aspect of the abusee’s life.
Questions arise foreverythought, words spoken and feelings felt, by themselves and those they come across.
The very first instance of sexual abuse occurred at a young age and whether or not the person was young themselves, it was wrong…I should feel no shame or be able to brush it off. It is also for me to speak to the person about it if and/or when, I feel the time is right. I say ‘if’ because I’ve held it in for so many years, never discussing it but always thinking about it. I was then sexually abused by two other people; in my teen years then as an adult. Added to the (emotional)/mental and physical abuse, I oftentimes wondered what my life would be like if I didn’t always have that on my mind. Abuse really knocks you! Would I have followed a completely different path? Why did it happen to me? Am I a magnet for this? Who knows? What I do know is that it does noone any good to keep living in the past! If it does cross your mind, it must be in celebration of where life currently is or has taken you. There are many organisations out there that offer counselling services. I would say that as soon as you feel the need to deal with it, grab that chance. At various times I have had counselling, and the counsellor was just used as a sounding-board. I didn’t need to be advised how to heal. I didn’t need to be told how bad it was that things had happened. I just needed to be heard….
From my previous posts, you may have gathered that I have a belief. I believe in The Most High God, I’m a Christian and have been baptised. When setting up this blog, I thought that I wouldn’t let my Christianity be my main focus or that, maybe, I wouldn’t even mention it. HOWEVER, it’s very hard not to have it creeping in. As the song from The Greatest Showman goes…’This is me!’
The title of this post is from the Old Testament of the Holy Bible. The Book of Ecclesiastes happens to be another of my favourites. As well as having the knowledge that scripture is God breathed and/or inspired, it amazes me that it’s possible to one day come across a verse or chapter that speaks directly to your life, body and soul, then on another occasion you may be reading it, with a little more information from previous verses or chapters, and it will take on a completely new meaning. It is the same with life. Things happen, but when thought about in the future, it can sometimes take on a new meaning. We can usually gain a new understanding. Occasionally, we are even able to laugh, after initially crying, pulling out our hair and being distraught.
My aim was to get this post out whilst we were still within November but, unfortunately, it wasn’t to be. Three days late isn’t too bad! Above is a beautiful autumnal scene. Autumn is the transitionary period from summer to winter, which is September to November. The view of that same area can differ greatly, depending on what time of year it’s being looked at. It will, on most occasions, be the same trees in that area, unless something drastic has happened to alter it, i.e death, disease, drought, fire or the birth or planting of a new tree, amongst other things. However, sometimes, all that glitters is not gold. At a first glance a tree may seem beautiful, but at a closer look there may be evidence of rot or wear and tear. There can even be things that cannot be seen by the naked eye. Our persona can also be affected by these same things, mentally, physically and spiritually. Our needs can or will change because of internal and external factors. The same can be said for family and friends, even strangers that we come across. We do not have a clue of exactly what each person is dealing with and also what coping mechanisms, if any, they may have. But by being given a little (or a lot of) love and attention, they can be transformed.
He can make everything beautiful in its time…
In the Book of Ecclesiastes, the third chapter tells us there is ATimeforEverything. The very first verse says ‘Thereisatimeforeverythingandaseasonforeveryactivityunderheaven’. Everyday we can take a walk and see how wonderful this earth is, that we have been blessed with. This is no matter what the weather is like or the season we’re in. Beauty can be found in Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Likewise in people.
Deciduous means tending to fall off. In Autumn, the deciduous trees or shrubs no longer need their leaves for survival in the forthcoming season, so it loses them. The leaves fall to the soil, which then enables its decomposition to provide soil bacteria and fungi. This soil bacteria then gives important nutrients to the roots. There is no longer a requirement for so much photosynthesis to take place in order for it to survive and this process provides food for other life forms, such as other organisms present in the soil below. This is a prime example of the cycle of life. The tree or shrub will then create a leaf scar, so that the water that has been collated before does not freeze over. Isn’t that amazing! I know I learnt about this stuff when I was at school but had to refresh my memory. The shrubs I have at the front of my home need not fear, they are here to stay! What a wonderful God we serve! Not everyone reading this will realise this, but my prayer is that you soon will! Before I get sidetracked, I will proceed. Yesterday I looked out of the window and the ground was covered with leaves. Prior to this, I was wondering why they were still hanging on, which is when I started reading about the cycle.
Everything has its season.
When the spring arrives, the weather begins to warm up and the sun provides the warmth they will all need to give birth to new leaves and photosynthesis will reoccur.
Give that a thought for a moment…take yourself away and think about it. What is it that you require for your ‘next season’? What is it that needs to ‘fall off’ your life. What is it that would be good for you not to take through to the new year approaching? What do you need to attract and overcome? What are you waiting to give birth to?
The point is that your thoughts on a particular thing can change from day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month and so on, but that doesn’t matter because as you go through different things; receive different information and meet different people…it can change your view; the way you feel and think about something can alter. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your thoughts were wrong at a particular time but just that you’ve learnt more. You’ve grown. You now see things from a different perspective.
Leave yourself open to new experiences and challenges. Be willing to eat new foods, go to new places, try a course and/or meet new people. Be willing to do things that you never would have done before. Do things that YOU have always wanted to do but never had the guts to. Make changes in your personal life or work. You never know what situation is waiting for a Project Manager (YOU) to take it in hand! Let the spring of 2020 mark a year of adjustment, improvement, renewal, transformation and the manifestation of anything else that is positive. Be like a caterpillar, inside its cocoon, waiting to reveal all its glory when it emerges. For He has made EVERYTHING beautiful in it’s time. Whatever you choose to do ensure you are just the way you want to be; exactly as you were meant to be. Prepare yourself by meditation, prayer and supplication. Let 2020 find you being unapologeticallyyou…
Ecclesiastes 3 v 1-8
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace…
On the evening of November 19th in 1973, I took my first breaths of life, in this world. Now, 46 years later, I can give God a great, big thank you, that I am still here! With the things I have been through, I could have lost my mind, BUT I’m holding on. My morning was spent responding to messages and chattering on the phone. After a conversation with my Aunt, I was gifted some money, so my plans changed and improved immediately. Initially the thought was, that I would go for a little window-shopping and get my eyebrows neatened up. Now that I had received money, Wandsworth became my oyster. I was able to buy some kitchenware, watch a movie and grab a bite to eat. All by myself. I loved it! I thoroughly enjoyed that and felt blessed!
My Mum also visited my home, whilst I was out, but put a card (containing money) through the letterbox. Added to that, my sister came around yesterday with a little birthday cake (above) and she bought us a takeaway, we chatted and watched a couple of movies. Another gift is now pending and there are a few dates to follow. My future, for the rest of 2019, is looking bright! Christmas is close behind…
Reverting back to my birth, many years ago, I was born on a Monday. There is a nursery rhyme which begins ‘Monday’s child is fair of face…’. Apparently, those born on a Monday are very attractive, beautiful and are promised good things and a fortunate life. Well, I can accept that…..partly! After all, Margaret Wolfe Hungerford said, in her book ‘Molly Swan’, that ‘beauty is altogether in the eye of the beholder’. Well, I behold the reflection of myself and see that it is good! Researching, I came across a few quotes, which I felt expressed this perfectly.
Beauty is altogether in the eye of the beholder.
Margaret Wolfe Hungerford
We live in a world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.
People often say that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’, and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places that others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.
The beauty you see in me is a reflection of you.
Beauty isn’t about looking perfect it’s about celebrating our individuality.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I have a mentor. In the beginning, she advised me to begin collating affirmations. On doing this, I was told to look in the mirror and affirm them every day. It sounds simple enough, right? Being a person who has/had an issue with ‘self’, it was extremely difficult, at first. As time went on, it did eventually become easier and easier. I noticed that, the times I found it hardest, was when I was having a problem with self-image. Now, I may sound confused, because I start by speaking confidently about beauty, but that’s how I am. I’m not suggesting that, mentally, in the space of time it took for me to get to this point of the blog that my mind had completely changed but I am not always feeling as confident on a day-to-day basis. What I can say, however, is that I am celebrating life, at this moment in time. Therefore, I will try to do as much as possible to remain in the same spirit. As always, I remain, UnapologeticallyMarcia
Below are some of my affirmations, that you may find useful.
I am beautiful
I am enough
I am exactly where I’m supposed to be
I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness
I am intelligent
I am made in His image!
I am proud of who I am
I am strong
I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness
I am intelligent
I am the woman God ordained me to be
I am what I think and today I think life, fruitful and positive thoughts
I am whole
I am worthy of being a work in progress and God does love me
I believe that nothing is impossible, if you only believe
I have the power to create change
I only desire that which is good for me
I radiate beauty, charm and grace
I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind
Everything that is happening now is for my ultimate good
God has given me this AMAZING, DYNAMIC POWER to do, be, have and create ALL that I desire
My fears of tomorrow are melting away
My life is just beginning!
Today I abandon my old negative habits and take up new, more positive ones
Today I am excited about life
After reading this, has it given you thoughts on making your own affirmations? Do you already have some? Would you like to share?
When going on a journey there has to be a starting point. One may or may not even have an idea of where they will end up, but do know where they are. The point is whether they like where they are to begin with, or not. Some decide to make a change so that they will become better than they are (being in a bad place) or just to improve themselves (being in a good place). Overall there is just a yearning to be different; a yearn to not remain the same. I was on this train of thought when I came across the heading Great Oaks from Little Acorns Grow. Some may know it as mighty oaks and the words moved around, but you get the gist! I knew there was a need for change. I’m not saying I was or am in the worst place possible but knew that, mentally, I could not continue as I was. Your mental disposition can affect your health in so many ways. So, I thought, let me take control and attempt to steer things in a different direction. It may not totally heal me of my ailments but I’ll feel better for it and nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Whilst being a teenager I often dreamt of what adult life would be like. I wanted to have a husband, who loved me inexplicably, two children, my own home, the world as an oyster (that I’d taste frequently) and untold happiness. The reality is, I have been single for too many years (which I’m certain is caused by my low self-esteem), have one daughter; whom I love VERY much (she is my pride and joy), live in a rented home, and have only visited a handful of places. I am now almost 46 years old; where has the time flown! Before now I was unhappy about this, but now, I am content and see life as a glass half full rather than half empty. I’m waiting to see what is going to happen next rather than thinking, nothing ever happens to or for me. We can be our own worst enemies by dwelling on negative thoughts and, at times, can be so entwined in them that we become knotted within until it feels almost impossible to unravel ourselves and break free.
I used to watch a programme, you may know it, where a group of young women would take part in a search for the next best thing in the modelling field. They were vying for a position, in order to win a competition. Some would be crying at a certain point, saying they were not good enough. I’d always give a side eye and think, why the hell are you on the show then?! But we all have moments when we begin to doubt whether we can actually do something…when pushed we usually can. It’s all about our belief or lack of. The thing is to maintain our belief and ensure it never wanes, bringing us to a standstill. If you do come to a standstill you have to use it to your advantage and analyse why you have got to that position and where you go from there. You may grind to a halt or continue with thoughts rushing through your mind, either way it should not be seen as a bad thing. Also, I hasten to add, there is notimelimit! Having said that there’s also the adage that timewaitsfornoman. None of us know the exact moment our lives will end or what opportunities we will or will not come across, but we can guess. Be careful time is not wasted pondering or being angry, for you can turn around and be surprised at the age you’ve reached and the lack of an attempt at your hopes and dreams. If opportunities have been missed, move on to another, or search for one, asswiftlyaspossible.
Growing up I was never confident and there were direct reasons for that, (which I’ll go into at some point in the future). At school, I was around those who were (or appeared to be), but when I reached my teens I had to wear a back brace and eventually had an operation for scoliosis. I felt as though my world was caving in…I became a recluse and felt as though everyone was so much better than I was. It was at this point that I thought to myself, I can truly forget about all those dreams. Who would want someone with a ‘broken back’ (and the rest); I mean I didn’t like me, so how could anyone else! After this moment, life just happened to me. Feelings of not fitting in continued and I just attempted to do things that other people did or what was considered normal. Then, I became an acorn. For all those years I was within the oak tree; needing it to give birth to me. A friend of mine would always post inspiring quotes, on WhatsApp. I would read them and think, ‘I want to be on that wavelength’, so I sent her a message and asked her if she would consider being my mentor. She agreed. It was at this point that I became an acorn that had fallen away from the oak. No longer was I to be led by mental ill feeling or with an aim to please others, but by a need to be my own person. I needed to please ME. I became an acorn waiting to be planted. I have now become an acorn that has been planted in a good foundation and with regular watering with God’s word and the warmth of His Holy Spirit; I’ll be fine! I’ll be able to grow into a Great/Mighty Oak.
I am very happy to continue this journey with God as my buckler and shield and I give thanks for what I’ve been through, where I am now and where he intends to take me! It’s more than okay to be unapologeticallyme. Here are 3 of my favourite scriptures (there are many!).
…….to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
– Isaiah 61:3, New International Version
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
– Psalm 27:1, King James Version
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song.
The last several years have been challenging; filled with numerous highs and lows, BUT I’ve decided to take the bull by the horns and turn things around. I need to push it to a constant high (or at least a majority!) No. Turning. Back.
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Marcia…I’m going on a journey and would like to take you with me.