Devotional Prayer – Thursday 18th June 2020

Abba Father, as I wake this morning I just want to give You all the honour, glory and praise. It’s a brand new morning and I just want to thank You that Your mercies are new each and every morning! No matter what has happened You have said that I can come freely to Your throne of grace and You are faithful and just to forgive.

Cleanse me from anything that may have displeased you, whether it be of thought, word or deed.

1 John 1:9

It is the former things that cause me to stumble, as my heart looks back. At times I may look back with longing or my mind may look back remembering what I once was. Help me to reach higher heights, as I am not physically weighed down by sin. For You have pulled me out of every situation, both seen and unseen. I just need to stay focused on You.

Isaiah 43-19

Whenever I slip and fall, life’s dramas make me feel as though I have been battered to the core, but You are right there to remind me that inwardly I am being renewed moment by moment, day by day. Help me to grab onto my new identity.

2 Corinthians 4:16-17

It is Your will that I am not consumed by my sin. I want to thank You that Your mercies are new each and every morning.

Lamentations 3:22-23

I thank You that, because I am covered by The Blood shed for me, I am a new creation, no longer under condemnation.

2 Corinthians 5:17

My sins are as far from me as the east is from west; so great is Your grace and Your love for me.

Psalm 103:1

I am reconciled to You forever.

2 Corinthians 5:18

Promise of God – John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

Abba Father, I pray all these things in the Mighty Name of Your Son Yeshua, who came and died on Calvary’s cross and rose on the third day, so that through Him I might have life and have it more abundantly.


Minister Marcia

Yeshua The Way

Devotional Prayer – Tuesday 16th June 2020

The Lord’s Prayer {Matthew 6:9-14}

Our Father in heaven,

Our Father, The Most High God, that dwells in heaven

Hallowed be Your Name,

Recognise His Name as Holy, set apart, exalted and worthy of all the glory, praise, honour and so much more than what we can give,

Your Kingdom come,

The Lord’s Kingdom is coming,

Your will be done,

We request that it always is our desire to do His will and His will alone; for His will to overcome us and take precedence over our own,

On earth as it is in heaven,

For it to be on earth as it is in heaven. For His praises to always be on our lips and in our hearts; no matter the circumstance,

Give us today our daily bread.

Our God shall supply ALL our needs according to His riches in glory.

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

We ask our Father to forgive us of ALL wrong, and He will as long as we forgive others of ALL their wrong towards/against us

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from all evil.

Lead us not into temptation; anything that is not of God. We do not want to be tested and tried but if we are, we want our Father to provide a way of escape

For thine is the Kingdom

The earth is His and the fullness thereof…He created it. Without Him it wouldn’t exist.

The power and the glory,

Our God possesses ALL the ability to do ALL things to change the course of the enemy in our lives and in ALL situations. We must ALWAYS give Him the honour, adoration, praise and thanksgiving, which is due to His Name. We should worship Him in the beauty of holiness.

Forever and ever.

From beginning of time the LORD’S Holy Spirit moved on the face of the waters. He is here now and will be for an eternity. The earth may pass away but The LORD, neither His Word, ever will!


An agreement, approval of all that is above.

Minister Marcia

Yeshua The Way

Devotional Prayer – Monday 15th June 2020

Abba Father, I thank You for waking me up this morning, so that I can face another day on this beautiful earth. I come to You with my arms wide open, ready to receive. I thank You for who You are and I give You all the worship; all the honour; all the glory and all the praise. I pray that You will be with my every step, so that I may be a beacon for You. Please forgive me of all sins, whether they be of thought, word or deed. Whatever you have planned for me on this specific day, may I walk into it and follow Your will and Your way. I pray that I may continue to walk in strength and victory. If ever I fall away, I pray that by Your power and Your Might I will still fulfil all that is required of me. Whatever it is that you have planned for me to do, I trust that You will provide all that is needed for me to carry it out.

I do not know what lies ahead of this week but Yahweh Magen, You know. As I walk through it I pray that You will be my buckler and shield.

Psalm 35

For You know the plans You have for me and they are perfect. Like no other You will provide prosperity, hope and a future. All my prayers will be heard by You, as I seek You with my whole heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

You tell me to ask, seek and knock and all will be given to me. You will cater for all my needs, so great is Your love.

Matthew 7:7-11

No good thing will You withhold from me, as long as I remain blameless. Therefore I draw close to You LORD that I may always be pleasing in Your sight.

Psalm 84:11

You are Yahweh Yireh, my provider, and promise to release all I require according to your riches in Glory.

Genesis 22:14

Because I have all trust and faith in You, I will remain steadfast, nothing will move me, as You tell me in Your word that, if I do so, it will not be in vain.

1 Corinthians 15:58

This week, help me to walk by faith and not by sight

2 Corinthians 5:17

Promise of God – 145:1819The LORD is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfils the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them. The LORD watches over all who love Him…

Abba Father, I pray all these things in the Mighty Name of Your Son Yeshua, who came and died on Calvary’s cross and rose again on the third day, so that through Him I might have life, and have it more abundantly.


Minister Marcia

Yeshua The Way Ministries

Devotional Prayer – Sunday 14th June 2020

Abba Father, I approach Your throne of grace with thanksgiving in my heart, as I prepare to take on what the world has in store for me today. I thank You that You have chosen me and taken me out of the arms of the enemy and that everything about me is all about You. LORD I come to you transformed and renewed. It is not by anything of self but entirely You and I want to thank, worship and adore Your mighty Name. Teach me Heavenly Father to understand that the only reason I love You is because You loved me first. You are my everything. You are the First and Last, the Beginning and the End and the Prince of Peace. You are the same yesterday, today and forever. By being bruised, You provided my healing. By being pierced, You eased my pain! By being prosecuted, You gave me freedom! By your death, You gave me life! By Your resurrection, I see Your power!

I ask that a new heart is created within me, so that I can live in Your will and Your way.  Help me not to look back on what I have left behind but to just remain steadfast.

Psalm 51:10

I am fearfully and wonderfully made, You knew me before I was conceived and made everything the way it is supposed to be.

Psalm 139:14

You have begun a good work in me and because of who You are, Faithful and Just, You will follow it through until completion…You will not leave me undone.

Philippians 1:6

You are the Good Shepherd who has called me to this very spot and have brought me through everything I have been through, right at this moment in time and I am no longer blind.  Heavenly Father I now see and realise the exact moments that you waited for me to turn towards You and I did not.

John 10:14-18

I will never fear because You will give me the strength I need to do all things

Philippians 4:13

There will no longer be any lack in my life.

Psalm 23:1

Wherever You lead me I will follow, because I know I can depend on You to lead me in all the right paths.

Psalm 23:3/John 10:4

You are not a man that You should lie and I am thankful that I heard Your voice and was drawn to You, The Gate.

Numbers 23:19/John 10:7

Your word says that You are the Bread of Life, so I know that I will never hunger nor thirst;

John 6:35

Your grace is sufficient for me;

1 Corinthians 12:9

You are the True Vine, that I will cleave to and I will bear much fruit and be an extension of You;

John 15:1-2

You are the Light of the World, so I will never walk in darkness, I’ll neither stumble nor fall, because you are my protector who never sleeps and You give me the light of life;

John 8:12

My heart’s cry is that I will know You and the power of Your resurrection.  It is because of Your resurrection that I have been saved from my sin.

Philippians 3:10

Focus my mind, so that I will remember that You are always with me.

Psalm 46:10

Help me to follow Your example, to go deep into Your Word and always think of what it is that You require of me.

John 13:15

For Your Word tells me that You will never leave nor forsake me. You’ve got my back. You’re better than any friend.

Hebrews 13:5

Promise of God – John 14:13 And I will do whatever you ask in my Name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my Name, and I will do it.

Abba Father, I pray all these things in the Mighty Name of Your Son Yeshua, who came and died on Calvary’s cross and rose on the third day that we might have life and have it more abundantly.


Minister Marcia

Yeshua The Way Ministries


Being someone that has experienced depression and on occasion suicidal thoughts, for the majority of my life, it rears its ugly head every now and then. If you suffer from depression, everytime someone seems to have ‘escaped’ this life and gone on, it’s possible to feel a little jealous. I say escaped but we don’t know what happens ‘on the other side’. That has been put in quotes but, being a Christian, I know what happens. Not everyone believes the same! Back to the topic at hand, I’ve had conversations with friends and family but not many understand or can relate. It’s more than feeling down but a feeling of desperation; not being able to breathe; not feeling understood; and a pain that cannot be explained. It’s not as clear, cut and dry as not having as many problems as anyone else, but it’s an issue of not being able to snap out of it and not seeing any reason to. In fact, at times, the feeling is that you don’t want to! Sometimes you have such a high, and you have a multitude of problems surrounding you, but everything feels okay. Other times you can reflect back on times past, or for no apparent reason at all, not even the multitudes I spoke of previously are the problem BUT… you just feel so desperately low. It’s a pain that cannot be explained. There seems to be a tightening of the chest, as though you can hardly breathe, and you don’t know how it can be softened and the tension released. No doubt, everyone’s experience is different, but that is mine. It’s not something that you can just snap out of, but you know you need a release. This is one of my reasons for starting a blog. As I type this I feel a release; I feel I can breathe. The thing with me is that I can hide things pretty well. When I feel depressed I don’t really want to explain because I don’t want to hear the words that I ‘have nothing to be sad about’. Unless a person walks in your shoes, has your body or your brain, they don’t know….BUT God! He’s always my help when I need Him! I just need to remain focused, because we are about to embark on times where He will be needed so much more.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

Psalm 46:1-3 (New International Version)

I began writing this a couple of months ago, after Caroline Flack took her own life, but this morning decided to take it up again. Only a few weeks later and people are falling ill, dying when they don’t want to. It was so different when it was across the waters, but now it is here, right where we are. It makes you have a different perspective on life. Those that are infected with, or have died of Coronavirus, have not had a say in whether or not their lives were affected or ending. The effects of this have transcended beyond the individuals laying in the hospital beds, being quarantined, or those staying at home because they are vulnerable, but extends to nurses who look after them in hospitals; members from different departments who have been relocated to each ground zero to assist with admin or do nursing jobs they haven’t done for years (all vying for adequate PPE, I hasten to add); families unable to visit loved ones; fathers unable to visit their newborn babies; and the families stuck at home who, under normal circumstances, would visit their family, friend or neighbour and keep them company for a few hours, especially during the lovely weather we’re having now. We are resigned to realising what we DO have control over or access to. If we are at home with loved ones, we are able to reconnect because, unless you are a Key Worker, there is no job to rush to. We can pick up the phone, because we have the time to call others and ask how people (that we haven’t spoken to for a long time) are doing. We can read (whether it be that book that has been sitting on the shelf since last year) or connect with our Father in the Holy Bible. This moment can be used as a time of reflection. Where we have come from. Where we are. Where we are going to.

In a past post, I had said after the New Year, the divorce rate can be at its highest. Right now couples are being pushed together for much more than a long weekend! Alas, there are fears for those who are in situations where domestic violence is taking place. I pray our Almighty Omnipresent God will be felt, and in control of, every household!

Provisions are available for all.

  • Council Tax relief for those liable for an excess of £150;
  • Frontline charities to receive £750 million to keep them ticking over;
  • Government is able to pay salaries up to £2,500;
  • NHS debt of over £13.4 billion to be written off;
  • Banks and companies are permitting repayment holidays for credit cards and loans;
  • Mortgage breaks for a period of 3 months;
  • Nightingale hospital has been built and a number of additional ones on the way; and
  • Shelter for the homeless; a concerted effort is being made to get the homeless off the streets. Quickly!

After providing all this and more, assistance extends to the self-employed, zero contract employees, freelancers and contractors. It leaves me wondering how monies are so readily available, all be it for a couple of months, and why some of these things weren’t on offer before. Being a vulnerable person, I receive food on a weekly basis, which allows me to eat. For 12 weeks all who are vulnerable need to stay inside, because our ability to fight Coronavirus and win, is low. I’m extremely grateful 🙏🏾

What we see is that this virus is no respecter of person, as in you could be rich or poor, of colour or white, young or old. Not many young have died of it BUT EVERY SINGLE DEATH STANDS IN ITS OWN RIGHT. One thing we, as the human race/society, need to do is recognise what divides us. I do believe that is now being realised. It’s amazing what times of adversity can do! Debates are being held, and as mentioned before, the Government appears to be pulling out all stops to assist in every way possible. The effects of this will be felt for a very long time, and life will never be the same again. The big question is will it be for the better or not. Thoughts of a pending global recession spring to mind and the world will be in mourning. ‘We all stand together’, looking after our own and feeling and knowing what others are dealing with. The divide between the haves and have-nots needs to be lessened, so that at least basic needs are met for all.

A song came to mind:

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus Christ, my Righteousness;

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus’ name

On Christ the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand

When your hope is built on The Most High, you need never fear. He is the only one that can really keep you going.

There are different explanations for what is globally occurring at the moment. In the not too distant future, I will go through them and leave you to reach your own verdict.

As always, I remain, Unapologetically Marcia…

2020 Vision – New Year, New You

I received the above diary, from my daughter for Christmas and found it very apt for this new year. The title, just in case the print is too small, is HAPPINESS IS NOT OUT THERE, IT’S IN YOU, 2020. Never a truer word has been said (well, in the moment, that I’d received it, anyway!) Well, we have almost completed the first two months of the New Year and it only seems like yesterday that it was Christmas, or even that we were counting in 2020! However, in the blink of an eye, here we are!

Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry, God never blinks.

Regina Brett

At the close of last year, to the beginning of this one, I took part in a 21 Days of Abundance Meditation by Deepak Chopra.  This was led by my ex-mentor. Several of us took part and I then ran one myself. We had to ‘reach into our own abundance and share with others‘ i.e it was a task requirement! I was extremely glad that I did it. It was the first time that I had ever done anything like it, and was truly blessed. It allowed me to think of things differently and motivated me to tackle life in a different way; I was inspired to live abundantly! My views on life have changed. I, also, now realise that abundance is not only a financial thing but can be anything you want it to be. You can have an abundance of health, joy, love, peace and/or strength and they are all just as important as finance. Viewing it from a Christianity point of view, we are dealing with the whole man. These are attributes that can be strengtheners of the mind, body and soul. This is excellent considering the disasters that continue to happen not only around the world but also right here in the South of London. A few weeks ago there was a terrorist attack. It’s quite different when things that usually occur far away, suddenly happen at a place only a bus ride away from where you live. In the blink of an eye lives were changed. Shop owners, people enjoying lunch; watching a movie at the cinema, running to the store, people who avoided coming face-to-face with such an atrocity by inadvertently changing plans and those who were actually injured. Many lives were changed that day, even the lives of the attacker’s family…when will it all end? Since then, there have been more deaths, more births, more marriages and more suicides; it all just continues, life just goes on. I’ve always felt as though I’ve carried the weight of the world on my shoulders but, there comes a time when you have to put it all down and hand it over to The Most High God and let Him do His thing! The sooner you are able to do that, the better!

So, on a lighter note, back to the meditation! We challenged ourselves with daily tasks, for a 21 day period, which allowed us to review and analyse our thought patterns and reasons for the results we came to. Not only did we do this but, we also had to come to terms and be at peace with all decisions made. Sounds easy enough, I hear you cry!  Well, not really.  It all depends on how seriously you were taking the meditation and what you wanted to get from it.  (Unless you are perfect and already at ease with every aspect of your life, that is!). As I mentioned before, I led one. I would have never thought of doing it, if it wasn’t a task. I was utilising leadership skills, that haven’t been used in a looong time.

Some of the things covered were as follows:-

Recording 50 persons that had added value to our lives;

Those within our family and social circles that have achieved their goals;

Reaching into our own abundance and sharing with others;

Revealing our financial debts and expenses;

Realising how much we would need to be comfortable;

Creating a new relationship with money;

Realising negative thought patterns and the results of them;

Connecting with our parents and realising what made them who they are;

Realising shared characteristics;

Self-recognition (warts ‘n all!);

How to heal those warts; and amongst other things

Realising you can love and are deserving of love.

We were sent the tasks very early each morning and it included a recording of Deepak Chopra’s calming, dulcet tones, which relaxed us and prepared the way for the mantra. I had never done this before and to be breathing, relaxing and breathing some more, whilst repeating words of another language (to stop my mind from straying), was quite daunting. However, Deepak Chopra would, at times, give a translation of the mantras. Whenever the words were not given I would look them up, so I could be aware of what I was saying. We were also given an inspirational quote to recite throughout the day. For anyone who doesn’t know, a mantra is an affirmation or quote, which inspires you. The key is for it to inspire and/or motivate you to think and live your best life. Isn’t that great?! This can be an inspirational phrase (I am who God says I am) or even a scripture (Psalm 139:14 I am fearfully and wonderfully made!) If you’re reading this and you’re not a Christian, you can put in any positive phrase.

For my next few posts I will go into the above, and the other areas not listed, in greater depth. Personally, throughout the meditation, I carried out the tasks evaluating everything in my life: realising where I was, why I am, where I am and where I am going to. This was an amazing thing to do. We can go through life, thinking and doing things but not realising why we do them. Sometimes we can actually blame others for the way we are, but the important thing is the REALISATION and ACCEPTANCE. If we realise why things, you, or a person, are the way they are, we are one step towards making a change. We can, therefore, accept how we go forward from there. As I always say, don’t allow events to be the precursor of how your life ends up, if it is in a negative way. In every situation you should be able to turn yourself around in the opposite direction. Make peace with it, them and/or yourself. Think of the worse case scenario and then make a concerted effort to not go down that route.

In closing, what New Year’s Resolutions have you made? Have you broken any yet? Have you approached this year with a zeal because you are expecting bigger and better each day, week or month? I hope it’s the latter question, but if it’s not…it’s never too late! I previously referred to my mentor as ex-mentor because she feels that I am ready to go it alone. Yikes! She’s an educated lady, so I’ll take her word for it…..

The header reads 2020 Vision – New Year, New You. That’s exactly what I’ll be working towards in 2020, mentally, all by myself! 2020 (or 20/20) is also considered to be normal vision, as well as being the current year, we are in. However, it is possible to have variants to it. For the purpose of this Blog post, it is normal. The aim of this year is to have ‘perfect’ or ‘normal’ vision; for it not to be skewed. The key is to keep pressing on, no matter what.

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize for the high calling of God in Jesus Christ.

Philippians 3:13-14 King James Version (KJV)

Once again, I am Unapologetically Marcia!

HaPpY NeW YeAr!!!

Twas the season to be jolly, trah la lala laa la la la laaa!’

I had started to write this before Christmas Day, but didn’t get around to sending it out! Thankfully there are 12 days of Christmas, so I’ve adjusted slightly and placed it into the present tense. After all, why waste a good picture of my bauble!:) Peace, love and shoes; absolutely gooorgeous!

The decorations have been up for awhile now and will soon need to come down and be packed away for another 352 days. Christmas Day has come and gone and we’ve begun to deal with the aftermath; leftover turkey and Christmas treats have been depleted; checking bank balances and counting the days until the next payday have started; being aghast at the usual increase of travel costs; those who work, are dreading returning; new relationships have started; old relationships have been rekindled; and divorces are even being thought about or sought! Statistics show that there is an increase in filing for divorces, around the New Year.  It is seen as a time for a New Beginning. The first Monday back to work after New Year is known as “Divorce Day”. Families are thrown together at this time of year, so stresses and strains intensify, and usually heightens any tension present. A marriage (long term relationships/civil partnerships) can be hard to sustain. Two people coming together need to think as one. This applies at any age and when the marriage has been for any length of time. Some never get used to it and give up the fight. Others get bored. The key thing is love should be unselfish. The Bible says we love because He first loved us. Obviously, the love we have with a ‘significant other’ isn’t 100% equivalent to the love we have of (or with) the LORD, but within the relationship we should always be able to think to ourselves; ‘Would God be happy with the way I’m treating them?’ ‘Am I thinking rationally?’ ‘How would I feel if someone were to say the same thing to me?‘ Respect should be shown. The long and short of respect is basically treating someone the way you wish to be treated.

Opportunities in 2020

Each year, time seems to pass so quickly. I read the other day that a supermarket had already started to sell Easter confectionery. Easter is in April! Do not allow this year to go by before even thinking about what can be done to improve your life. January 1st is as good a time as any, to review life. Looking back, where have the last 365 days taken you or brought you to? Looking forward, through the 363 days ahead, where do you see life taking you? We should aim to always evolve. Some say they do not make resolutions because they never adhere to them or they can self-improve any time of year. This is true. However, why not set one resolution that will cover everything within or about your life. The angle that you look at or do things. You may already have a full and fulfilling life, but see if you can look at things from a different perspective. You may have an empty life, so do something that can give it a boost. Search for opportunities (they are out there), rather than wait for them to land in your lap. Search in every conversation you have, programme you see, newspaper, book or magazine you read. You may not realise it but, when you open yourself to receive your calling, when it’s your time, you will see it present itself to you. Repeatedly.

I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me and what answer I am to give to this complaint.

The LORD’S Answer

Then the LORD replied: “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time, it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay “

Habakkuk 2: 1-3 (New International Version/Old Testament/Holy Bible)

My mentor sent me a table for listing plans for the year ahead. It is such a good idea to have things written down and made plain (as per scripture above). Sometimes we can start off with the best intentions but they then fall to the wayside.

The aforementioned table has sections to review the past and then look forward. Whilst reviewing the past it allows you to be aware of what thing(s) you wish to take into the current year. Acknowledging the bad, as well as the good, makes it possible for you to say goodbye to whatever you need to. If there is anything you don’t want to follow you through this year, say farewell as soon as possible. It’s no good having it weigh you down and wasting time that you could have focused on something else. Among other things, the table has spaces for recording forgivenesses, letting go, accomplishments and challenges. It is very detailed. Write it down and make it plain……. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. It will be brought into fruition.

As you venture into 2020 and begin to see things come to pass, may you go with peace, exude love, step out in a good pair of (new) shoes and shine like the star you are. Be the person that you would love to meet!

Coming Out On The Other Side

Poet: Rune Lazuli

With my header reading ‘It’s ALL About Me‘, some may feel that I’m self-indulged, wrapped up in myself and selfish. On reading this, I’ve even felt that way about myself, but it couldn’t be further from the truth! In the past I’ve always been one to try and push the attention away, if it was on me. The aim was to make the focus into a joke or struggle to be boisterous if it weren’t possible to throw the ball on. Anyone reading this, who knows me personally, may think to themselves ‘Errrrrrrmmm, what the hell is she on about! (side-eye glance)’, but that is how I would feel. I didn’t feel that my actions were me being me. It was forced. The only time I didn’t mind was when I was speaking to the Church, administering The Word, because then it was ALL About Him! Preposterously, I even thought I wasn’t worthy of God’s love and attention, but that is all changing! Today, I thank God for His undying grace, love, attention and everything else, that I have now realised.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him

1 John 3:1 (New International Version)

Now, I have been a Christian for many years, but still didn’t understand the meaning of His undying grace and love. It is by the help of my mentor, sent by God, that I have come to the realisation. It’s funny how we met, because I used to date her brother. When our relationship had ended, we remained friends and I began attending the Church where his mother was the Pastor. (Surprisingly, I had no idea she was a Pastor, whilst we were dating!) I was baptised, became a member of the Praise and Worship Team, created and became the editor of the church newsletter (Divine Inspiration) and my mentor wasn’t yet baptised. Fast forward many years later, it is amazing to see her zeal and commitment to life and The LORD. I’m not saying that she didn’t have a belief before but I am sure she will agree that her relationship with Him wasn’t as it is now. She has set me tasks for (spiritual) growth, by what she has and hasn’t said, and how she lives her life. She is a fine example of how to make the most out of every second, minute and day. I am far off that stage, but in time will get there! That should be a lesson to us all, that when we think noone is watching, firstly The LORD sees all and then so do those around you. If they’re not seeing it, someone else just might tell them!

I mentioned in previous posts, a bit about my past. For a long time I’ve been deliberating about whether or not I should make it known and thought to myself, why not? The things that had happened to me, and made me as I am, made me ashamed. I should have no shame but those who have done me wrong should. NOT the other way around. Many that read this will not realise these things have happened, but I am going through a healing process. To heal I need to acknowledge events, allow myself to breathe in and then let it go. I’ll say it again (paraphrased), I don’t feel there is any need for me to feel shame because I wasn’t the one in the wrong. If ever the persons that did me wrong come across this or anyone that is guilty of doing this to others, my hope is that they feel shame and ask The LORD for forgiveness. If anyone reading this, or any of my other posts, can relate: I pray that they may be inspired to also heal, to seek help or to think of things differently and consider taking a step in the opposite direction to where they are now.

I am in the process of writing a book. This will allow me to fully rip the plaster off without caring about the pain. Right now I am inhibited, but it will be so freeing to do it without having to wonder what people I know are thinking. It is my right.

Abuse – (Emotional/Verbal)/Mental, Physical and Sexual

This can arise in many forms. In some cases the abuser may not be aware they are doing it but, nonetheless, it is what it is. On occasion the abuser knows exactly what they are doing and revel in the fact. Without going into too fine a detail, all of the above occurred to me, and has shaped me into the person I am today. Any form of abuse affects every aspect of the abusee’s life.

Questions arise for every thought, words spoken and feelings felt, by themselves and those they come across.

The very first instance of sexual abuse occurred at a young age and whether or not the person was young themselves, it was wrong…I should feel no shame or be able to brush it off. It is also for me to speak to the person about it if and/or when, I feel the time is right. I say ‘if’ because I’ve held it in for so many years, never discussing it but always thinking about it. I was then sexually abused by two other people; in my teen years then as an adult. Added to the (emotional)/mental and physical abuse, I oftentimes wondered what my life would be like if I didn’t always have that on my mind. Abuse really knocks you!  Would I have followed a completely different path? Why did it happen to me? Am I a magnet for this? Who knows? What I do know is that it does noone any good to keep living in the past! If it does cross your mind, it must be in celebration of where life currently is or has taken you. There are many organisations out there that offer counselling services. I would say that as soon as you feel the need to deal with it, grab that chance. At various times I have had counselling, and the counsellor was just used as a sounding-board. I didn’t need to be advised how to heal. I didn’t need to be told how bad it was that things had happened. I just needed to be heard….

Continue reading “Coming Out On The Other Side”